gosh..this will be a long emo post i guess..was kinda miserable today..noe..i nv miss my squaddies as much as when i first entered sa den i miss my saints friends when i enter tj..i have no idea why!!is nt tt my saints friends are better..i wuldnt mind spendin another 4yrs wif my squaddies..guess when i was in sa..its sorta like the friendship we built up was too strong tt i dun even miss u all much..and we are still keeping in contact so often!!but sa..i dun even talk to my sa friends online except sometimes..wad happened to our mass communications??!!im damn sad today..caught myself thinking of lotsa things..guess we will slowly lose contact u noe..and like i took a damn long time to warm up to u all..was much much slower than my other og mates..ya..and juz when i gt started to noe u all well..we gotta separate...its really heartbreaking..and now i havta start all over again..i wud give anything to rather dance wif the guys in my og den finding one in tj now..sighhhh....even my first couple dance in sa was way much beter den now..
many things i come across in tj reminds me of sa..and i caught myself smiling to myself..retarded huh??!!blazon had a skit to do and we decided about mafia..den i thot of timo..soccer girls and i thot of carin..my friend told me tt she wanted to lie on something soft and nice and i thot of the times we hanged out at the mattress..vulgarities and i thot of abel..sighh..i din thot of nessa too about something tt i cant say..haha..well..it surprises me how much i miss u all i guess...and i wish it works..gonna be vague here but..its partly why im miserable today!!dun try asking..juz hope tml wud be a better day..ahhh..pray for all the miracles to happen..and more imptly pray tt i will speak out more to strangers..noe sth?im less shy when im wif a gd friend..like if me and her dunno tt stranger..i wud be more willing to speak to her/him voluntary..and like asking for shopkeeper's help or sth..i wud be more than willing to help my friend ask if needed but i kinda always need dem to help me ask..dun understand why..talk to me!!u shy i shy everybody shyshy..haha..but yet i can find pple making friends..why??!!sigh..its gonna take long again..i wan my civics grp!!!and tml mite have og outing..hmm..i had og outing on the second day and third day of my sa orientation..mayb tts why i gotta noe my og much better n faster..so i hope tml's og outing will be a gd 1..sigh..tata!